Alzheimer’s Caregiving: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

3 hours ago

5 min read

Caring for someone living with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia can bring a lot of uncertainty. You may find yourself learning new things, taking on new responsibilities, and adjusting to changes you never expected.

And sometimes, the hardest part is simply knowing where to begin.

In a recent Spotlight on Care podcast conversation, caregiver professionals and a family caregiver shared what they’ve learned about navigating dementia caregiving—including creating a care plan, finding support, and remembering to care for yourself along the way. One message came through clearly: you don't have to figure it all out alone.

Start With Where You Are

When a loved one begins experiencing changes in memory, behavior, or daily functioning, it's easy to feel like you should immediately know what to do.

But caregiving is a learning process.

You may not know whether a change is part of Alzheimer's, what resources are available, or what your loved one will need six months from now. That's okay. You don't have to solve the entire caregiving journey today.

Start with what you know.

That might mean making a medical appointment, writing down changes you've noticed, asking questions, or simply learning more about Alzheimer's and dementia. It can also mean reaching out to a caregiver resource organization before you're sure you even consider yourself a caregiver.

In the podcast, caregiver Diana Marquez-Siemers emphasizes the value of reaching out early. You don't have to wait until you're overwhelmed—or even until you've officially taken on a caregiving role—to start looking for support.

Sometimes, the most helpful question isn't "How am I going to handle all of this?"

It's simply: "What's the next step?"

Remember That Your Role May Change

Alzheimer's caregiving isn't one-size-fits-all, and your role may change over time.

At first, you might help with appointments, transportation, meals, or household tasks. As your loved one's needs change, you may become more involved in medications, personal care, finances, safety, or decisions about future care.

There's an emotional side to those changes, too.

You may be grieving parts of the relationship you once had. You may feel frustrated, worried, lonely, or unsure about the future. You may even feel guilty for having those feelings in the first place.

That's part of why caregiving can feel like managing a second life alongside your own. As Rachel Smyth explains in the podcast, caregivers are often balancing their own responsibilities while also managing the needs of another person.

Recognizing that reality isn't complaining. It's acknowledging just how much you're carrying.

Create a Care Plan That Can Grow With You

When everything feels uncertain, having a plan can provide some structure.

That doesn't mean you need to map out every possible scenario. In fact, a good care plan shouldn't be something you create once and never revisit.

At Caregiver Resource Center, care plans are viewed as living documents that can change as a caregiver's circumstances and needs evolve.

A care plan might include:

Your loved one's medical and daily care needs
Safety concerns
Changes in memory or behavior
Legal or financial considerations
Future care needs
Available family support
Your own stress and well-being
Community resources and services

Most importantly, the plan should be centered around the caregiver and family. As Rachel explains, caregivers are the experts in their own situations. A care plan should help identify what would actually be useful—not simply tell someone what they should do.

And if the plan needs to change later? That's okay. It's supposed to.

Find Your Village

Sometimes caregiving can feel incredibly lonely, even when other people are around.

Maybe family members live far away. Maybe friends don't understand why something that seems small to them feels so overwhelming to you. Or maybe you've gotten used to saying, "I'm fine," even when you're really not.

That's where finding your caregiving village can make a difference.

Your village doesn't have to be a large group of people, and everyone doesn't have to provide the same kind of support.

It might include:

A family member who can take over an errand
A friend who lets you vent without judgment
A neighbor who can check in
Other caregivers who understand what you're experiencing
A support group
A Family Consultant or other caregiver professional
Community organizations that can connect you with services

Diana describes this idea of finding your "village" as an important part of caregiving. Staying connected with family, friends, peers, and support systems can help caregivers feel less isolated and more supported.

And remember: you don't need one person who can do everything.

Different people can help in different ways. Sometimes knowing who to call is support enough to make a difficult day feel a little more manageable.

Don't Wait Until You're Overwhelmed

There can be a tendency to think you should ask for help only when you’re overwhelmed or truly can't manage something anymore. But caregiving support doesn't have to be a last resort.

Connecting with resources early can give you time to understand your options, build relationships with people who can help, and prepare for changes before they become urgent.

Support might look like joining a caregiver support group, attending an educational class, exploring respite care, connecting with a Family Consultant, or talking with a healthcare professional.

It may also change over time. As Rachel explains, caregivers can have very different needs and may need different levels of support at different points in their journey.

So if you asked for help six months ago and need something different today, that doesn't mean the first plan failed. It means your needs changed.

Make Room for the Person Behind the Caregiving

It's easy to put yourself at the bottom of the list. There is always another appointment, another task, another phone call, another thing that needs to be handled. Before long, your own needs can start to feel optional.

They're not. Caring for yourself is part of caring for someone else.

That might mean keeping up with your own doctor's appointments, getting outside for a walk, staying connected with friends, taking a break, or accepting someone's offer to bring dinner. It doesn't have to look like elaborate self-care. Sometimes it's simply giving yourself permission to step away for a little while.

Diana talks about the importance of caring for your physical and emotional health, taking breaks, maintaining connections, and not putting off your own preventative healthcare.

And if taking care of yourself feels difficult, start small.

You don't have to completely overhaul your life. One small thing that gives you a little breathing room is still worthwhile.

Hear More About the Caregiving Journey

The realities of Alzheimer’s and dementia caregiving are difficult to capture in a checklist. Sometimes, it helps simply to hear someone else say, "I've been there, too."

In the featured Spotlight on Care episode, Diana Marquez-Siemers and Rachel Smyth talk openly about supporting families affected by Alzheimer's and other dementias. Their conversation explores creating a personalized care plan, reaching out for support, finding your caregiving village, and making space for your own needs along the way.

Listen to the full conversation: Spotlight on Care: Alzheimer's Caregiving

You Don't Have to Have It All Figured Out

Alzheimer's caregiving can be challenging, but you don't have to navigate every part of it on your own.

Start where you are. Ask questions. Find your people. Accept help when it's offered. And give yourself permission to adjust as your loved one's needs - and your own - change.

You don't have to know every answer. You don't have to do everything yourself. You just need to know that support is available - CRC OC can help.